if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
