Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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