we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
