ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
