I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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