Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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