I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
