dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
