so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, beer. Big fan.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
