She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
