Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
