You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
