I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
