Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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