Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
