my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
