doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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