just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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