Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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