Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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