This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
