i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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