Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
