Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
