im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
