someone threw a dead crab at me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
