evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
