This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
