Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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