what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
