i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
