You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
