Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
