the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
