love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
