Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
