wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
