You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
