Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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