This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Congratulations! We have a period
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
