he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
