Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
