Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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