Dignity is for republicans.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
