Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
