You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
