like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
