hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
