Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
