sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
