Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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